Patience and Understanding, Please Come Back!

I'm in the worst mood. Everything is getting on my nerves. Likely PMS but what am I supposed to do about it, now? Lucy wants to nurse every 5 minutes, the dogs are chewing up everything, the house is a wreck. Lucy is doing everything she knows she's not supposed to do, like pouring her cereal on the carpet, writing on walls, peeing everwhere but the potty, hitting my husband and myself , although that was last week, this week she's throwing fits, we had a handful of tantrums around 16 mos and now all of the sudden she seems so angry. I'm sure her anger is all my fault, my inability to have any patience the last few days could have something to do with it, ya think? I saw on Oprah a parenting expert that said something about your children need to know your word is good, kinda like you must put your foot down and not be manipulated by your children. So I started feeling Gardner and I were being too permissive. We let Lucy negotiate with us and if she has a good reason or can change our minds about something we go with her idea. She has some pretty good ideas. But lately, since the Oprah expert, I haven't been listening to her ideas so much. Everything in my AP toolbox has been thrown to the wind and I've been, well, less than understanding. Do I need to read Unconditional Parenting, yet, another time, maybe the third time is a charm. Patience and understanding, please come back!